


Eli's Only Competition

by hooves02 (FreakCityPrincess)



Series: Crackfic Collection [3]
Category: Star Wars: Rebels, Star Wars: Thrawn Series - Timothy Zahn (2017)
Genre: Admiral Monch Strikes Again, Cat Person Thrawn, Coitus Interruptus, Eli growing increasingly frustrated, It's smut fam, Jealousy, M/M, No Ezras were traumatized in the making of this fic, Pure Crack, Thrawn getting distracted by his pet ysalamiri being cute, When your gorgeous blue boyfriend is not paying attention to you, blue man hot, but in future one Ezra will be, needy space cowboy, of a sort, post Thrawn & Ezra survival adventure, post rebels finale, thrawn porn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:55:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23677990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FreakCityPrincess/pseuds/hooves02
Summary: Eli is ready to take their relationship to the next level. Thrawn, unfortunately, only has eyes for his pet lizard.
Relationships: Thrawn | Mitth'raw'nuruodo/Eli Vanto
Series: Crackfic Collection [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1007442
Comments: 9
Kudos: 55





	Eli's Only Competition

**Author's Note:**

> A crack sequel to **_[this fic,](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23095729) _** the story of Thrawn and Ezra finding their friendship lizard.
> 
> Enjoy!

Eli hummed contentedly into the kiss, his hands drifting to the back of Thrawn's head to card his fingers through soft, silky black hair. 

The Chiss placed a hand on his cheek and tilted his head ever-so-slightly, deepening the angle, and Eli felt something familiar spark in him that he hadn't got the chance to feel in _weeks._ With a low growl he climbed into Thrawn's lap, making himself at home, rocking his hips when the Chiss's hand tightened possessively on his ass. 

"Thrawn," he murmured, nipping at the Chiss's lips. "We have plenty of time. I'm ready." 

All those subtle, lingering touches, all those far more purposeful kisses and stolen moments, the one heated make-out they'd shared behind closed doors that couldn't have evolved into something more because they'd been on a shuttle full of people and rudely _interrupted_ by one young Jedi－ it was about damn time all of that amounted to something. 

Thrawn half-closed his eyes in that utterly _devastating_ way of his, pulling Eli back down to their kiss, except this time he slipped his tongue in and Eli moaned, muffled, grinding down with increasing urgency. 

Thrawn's clever fingers drifted to the front of his trousers, palming him through the fabric, and Eli bit back a gasp when those fingers swiftly snapped open the clasps and Thrawn backed them further down the bed, his hands catching at Eli's waistband on the way. 

Eli was just about to break free to kick his pants off himself when Thrawn suddenly looked up from what he was doing. 

"Do you hear that?"

Eli blinked, flushed. His skin felt overheated and he was a bit too far gone to be picking up on things _other than_ this promising beginning. 

"Hear what?"

Instead of replying, Thrawn gently made to move him and Eli, though reluctant, rolled away and to the side. The Chiss slipped off the bed and followed the source of a sound only he could apparently hear, and Eli forced himself to stay put without complaining. Thrawn would figure out soon he wasn't really hearing anything and come back to bed, where they could continue this. 

Eli sat up as Thrawn, for some reason, dropped to the floor and started looking underneath the bed. 

He heard a loud chirping sound, and within moments, Thrawn was drawing the diminutive little ysalamiri from the dark and rising to his feet with it. 

"How did you get here?" Thrawn asked the ysalamiri, who he cradled against his chest, much to the creature's obvious delight. It purred and nuzzled his shirt in response. "Of course. My brother just left you in my quarters, did he not? I am certainly going to have a few choice words with him." 

Thrawn looked up at Eli. "I shouldn't have entrusted Admiral Monch to Thrass."

Eli huffed, his breath leaving through his nose. "Well, he's in good condition, so don't have any regrets." He shuffled self-consciously under the sheets, aware that his pants were still around his ankles. He shrugged them the final inch off and kicked them off the side of the bed. "So, you coming back or what?" Eli tried to inject his voice with as much subtle seductiveness as possible. He allowed the sheets to pool around his hips, low enough to leave a small strip of brown skin visible. 

Thrawn, of course, only had eyes for the ysalamiri even as he sat back down on the bed. "Maybe I will leave you with Bridger next time," Thrawn mused, stroking the creature's head. "Have you been fed yet? No? Don't worry, Admiral Monch, I am never leaving you with my brother again." 

Eli crossed his arms at his chest, disbelieving. _What the heck._

Thrawn allowed the happy little lizard to climb onto his shoulder and then his head before finally looking at Eli. 

"You were saying?" he asked serenely. 

Eli cleared his throat, half-hoping he looked as annoyed as he felt. "Are you just going to...let him stay here?"

Thrawn raised an eyebrow as if the answer should be obvious. "It is far too late to go to Bridger's place." 

"He's...just gonna spend the night here, then," Eli said flatly. "In this room." 

"I trust this is not an issue?" 

" _N_ _o,_ " Eli scowled. "I assure you it's _not._ Good _night,_ Thrawn." 

None too petulantly, he turned on his side and fumed his way to sleep, while Thrawn, after a polite _good night, Eli_ in return, started cooing at and talking to the ysalamir about a painting it reminded him of. 

  
  


Eli woke up to something scaly prickling against his cheek. 

He opened one eyelid and nearly jumped out of his skin when he was met with four beady eyes staring back at him. 

"I told you not to disturb Eli," came Thrawn's voice, gently chiding, and the yellow lizard was plucked up with a squeak. Eli turned around to see the Chiss holding the lizard high and close enough that it could play with his nose. 

"Humans need six hours of sleep to function optimally," Thrawn was warning it, even as it evidently paid no attention to his words or the commanding tone of his voice. "If you disturb Eli again, I am going to have to leave you with Bridger, or keep you in an enclosure for the night. We don't want that, do we?" 

_I kind of want that,_ Eli thought, but sat up on the bed with an agreeable smile. Annoyed as he was with Thrawn for choosing a thrice-damned _lizard_ over him the previous night, he couldn't deny that it was criminally endearing to watch the usually stoic, serious Chiss former Grand Admiral melt like chocolate the moment the diminutive ysalamir did anything cute. 

Thrawn, thankfully, set the lizard down on the floor where it scampered off and went underneath the curtains, and turned his glowing red gaze on Eli. 

Eli grinned. "Good morning." 

Thrawn reached over, drawing his face closer and pressing a chaste kiss to his lips. "Good morning, Eli. Did you sleep well?" 

Eli refrained from pointing out that his night would've been a lot more interesting had Thrawn not gotten completely distracted by his pet. 

"I did, but I'm not thinkin' about sleep at the moment," Eli said, layering his voice with that seductive charm again, hoping Thrawn wouldn't be oblivious to it this time. He snaked his arms around the Chiss's strong shoulders. Thrawn had removed his tunic for the night and now wore a black vest that fit him quite _snugly._

"Oh?" 

"Yes." Eli threw the sheets off and straddled Thrawn's lap, leaning forward with his whole body so Thrawn was pressed back against the plush headboard of these luxurious quarters Thrass had given him. "I have a couple of ideas I think you can help me out with." 

Thrawn slipped a hand up his back, before trailing it slowly down to where his shirt rose to expose a sliver of skin at his hips. Eli was only wearing a shirt and boxers, courtesy of his getting interrupted the previous night, and he noticed the special attention Thrawn's eyes paid to this fact. Just to drive the point home, Eli gave a little roll of his hips. 

Thrawn pulled him closer at once, catching his lips in a heated kiss, and before he knew it, the Chiss was flipping them over and he was on his back, and Thrawn was peppering a trail of kisses down his stomach. 

Eli's breath caught in his throat as Thrawn hooked his fingers under his waistband and looked up at him for confirmation. 

" _Fuck yes,_ " he hissed, and groaned as Thrawn got rid of his boxers and he felt the cold sheets under his exposed skin. 

"How would you have me?" Thrawn asked in a low voice that sent shivers up his spine. Eli swallowed thickly. 

"You can do whatever you want," he said, trying to sound cheeky but failing spectacularly. Thrawn nipped at the inside of his thigh. Eli's breath caught. 

This seemed to draw Thrawn's attention, and the Chiss wrapped one hand around him while moving up his body to claim his lips in a heated kiss. Eli groaned, bucking his hips into Thrawn's loose grasp. It already felt _so good,_ but it wasn't _enough－_

Thrawn didn't let up on kissing him and didn't let up on working him over, either. His strokes grew firmer and more purposeful, until Eli was whimpering into their kiss, begging under his breath for more. 

Then one of Thrawn's hands slipped under his head, fingers tangling gently in his hair, and the other moved further inwards between his legs, teasing lightly over his entrance. 

_"Fuck,_ " Eli gasped. "Yes, Thrawn, _please._ " 

Thrawn smirked. "Eager." 

Eli shot him a look. "It's been a really long time and we haven't gotten anywhere ye－ _unnnghhh._ " 

Thrawn curled his fingers, and Eli cursed, his entire body going tight. He wrapped his arms around Thrawn's neck and kissed him urgently. Withdrawing briefly to coat his fingers in lube, Thrawn fucked him at a maddeningly slow pace with one finger, until Eli was rocking his hips impatiently and incoherently demanding more, his arms tight around the Chiss's shoulders, sweat making his tawny skin glisten. 

"Thrawn," he got out in a broken voice. 

Thrawn kissed him once more, before swiftly inserting a second finger. Eli cried out, clenching around him. His arms tightened. 

"Oh, _fuck,_ " he whispered. " _Fuck,_ that's...that's good, please, I need you. I need you inside me _now._ " 

"Patience," Thrawn said chidingly, before he added a third finger without warning. Eli groaned, seeing stars behind his eyes. "I don't want to hurt you."

"I'm _ready,_ " he protested. "I'm ready, this is enough, I want－"

He was cut off by the loud sound of fabric ripping, and when he sought out the source of the noise in alarm, his desperation momentarily forgotten, Eli saw Admiral Monch tangled in the luxurious curtains, a big part of which the lizard had managed to tear all the way down the middle.

Thrawn noticed, too. 

"Oh no you _don't,_ " Eli hissed, clenching hard and pointedly around his fingers. Thrawn's red gaze swiped back to him, glowing hungrily. 

Eli grinned. _Victory._

Thrawn leaned down to kiss him fiercely, bringing his free hand under the small of Eli's back, pulling him closer and fucking him on his fingers until Eli was whimpering and pleading beneath him. 

" _Thrawn,"_ he gasped. "Inside me. _Now._ "

"You are very demanding today," noted the Chiss with muted amusement, carefully withdrawing his fingers. Eli grit his teeth at the sudden feeling of emptiness. He spread his legs as wide as they would go with Thrawn hovering over him. 

"Ya _think?_ " Eli sniped. 

Thrawn's lips twitched in what would've been a full-blown grin on anyone else before disposing of his tank top and sleep pants, and getting into position. He kissed him once more, softly this time, before slowly, painstakingly pushing into him. 

"Oh _fuck,"_ cursed Eli breathily. "Fuck, _yes._ " 

"Agreed," said Thrawn, his voice a little strained, his expression doubly so. Eli shakily curled his arms around his shoulders. 

Thrawn began to move, and Eli saw _stars._

"Yes, fuck, _ah－ right there, Thrawn, Force, don't stop, Thrawn－_ _FUCK, YES,_ please, oh Force, Thrawn, Thrawn I'm going to－ I'm so close, please don't stop, please, plea－ _fuuuuuck!_ " 

"Demanding _and_ vocal," noted the Chiss, sounding spectacularly pleased with himself, which was _fair_ given how hoarse Eli's voice was getting and that was _fine_ so long as his attention wasn't divided between Eli and a kriffing _lizard_ of all things－

Thrawn slammed into him _hard,_ making him _scream,_ and Eli was on the verge of ecsatatic tears when Thrawn suddenly stopped. 

"What?" he nearly sobbed. 

Thrawn looked back over his shoulder. Panting, Eli pushed himself up on shaking arms and followed his gaze. Admiral Monch had made his way to the desk, and had just knocked over the bottle of ceremonial signing ink that Thrass kept in every guest room. 

Eli dug his fingers into the back of Thrawn's head and pulled him back down, clumsily fusing their mouths together. 

"I'm right here," he bit out, kissing him again. "Don't you _dare_ stop now, Thrawn." 

Thrawn regarded him strangely for all of two seconds before Admiral Monch also knocked over the ceremonial glass paperweight, which shattered upon impact with the floor. 

Eli very nearly sobbed. _What did I do to deserve this?_

But Thrawn looked away from his beloved lizard and kissed his human tenderly on the forehead. 

"I am sorry. Let me make amends, Eli." 

Eli blinked. "What?" 

"I realize I may have been...distracted, and not entirely fair to you."

Eli snorted. "Really, now. Took you long enough." 

Thrawn smirked, slipping his hands under Eli's legs, which were consequently wrapped around his waist. Eli swallowed thickly at the new shift. 

"I will make it up to you." 

"You had better, before I think Admiral Monch is the real love of your－ _nnnnnghh!_ " 

The Chiss mouthed at his shoulder and collarbone as he picked up his pace, fucking him thoroughly and meticulously as only Thrawn could, alternating between slow and sensuous and hard and fast until Eli was raking his nails down hard, muscular blue skin and muffling his increasingly high-pitched whimpers into a thick, corded neck. 

Eli had just enough presence of mind to register how incredibly _strong_ the Chiss moving against him was before said Chiss sunk his teeth into the juncture between his neck and shoulder and Eli was _howling_ and tumbling over the edge, so hard and fast that his vision whitened out. 

Thrawn followed him with a _growl,_ and Eli moaned, reflexively clenching around him and curling his fingers in the soft sheets that he'd already ripped from the edges of the mattress. 

For a while, they didn't speak, only caught their breath, Eli heaving in and out while Thrawn, panting lightly, absently trailed kisses down his sweat-streaked skin. 

" _Wow,_ " Eli got out when he found his ability to speak again. "That was...wow." 

Thrawn hummed in agreement. "Jealousy is a rather charming look on you." 

Eli glared at him. "I wasn't _jealous!_ " 

"Of course not." 

Eli shuddered as Thrawn pulled out of him, leaving him feeling full but too empty, and turned on his side to face the Chiss as that fullness trickled slowly down his thighs. 

"Seriously, though, next time you're leaving Admiral Monch with Ezra." 

Thrawn drew him in close, one arm draped heavily and comfortably over his side. 

"I would certainly never entrust him to Thrass again," said Thrawn dryly. 

"Thrawn." 

"Yes, Eli?" 

"Just leave him with Ezra." 

Thrawn was quiet. 

"Thrawn," Eli began warningly, throwing a leg over the Chiss's hip and pushing him onto his back in one swift movement, straddling him. "Promise me." 

"Admiral Monch is a good companion for when I study art," said Thrawn. 

"Yeah, what does he do, eat the canvas?" 

"He tries. He has never succeeded, however." 

Eli sighed. "Okay, _fine._ I like him too, you know. Just－ not when we're having _sex,_ please?" 

Thrawn smirked. "That is a reasonable request. But I suspect Bridger will figure it out if we choose that course of action." 

"I think that would be for the better," said Eli, cheeks heating. No one else knew of their relationship, yet, although he suspected Thrass had an inkling and so did anyone else who'd passed their bedroom this morning, but at least it would eliminate the risk of _Ezra_ walking in on them. The young Jedi had once almost had the misfortune, but Thrawn's reflexes were quick, and saved them from having to explain why they were undressing each other in a supply closet. 

"I can see the benefits...and the disadvantages of such a course of action," remarked Thrawn with amusement, catching onto what he was thinking. "But I will comply." 

Eli laughed. "Good. _Thank you._ Now where'd our ysalamiri Admiral go?" 

Thrawn sat up, pulling him into his lap as his eyes scanned the room. There was no trace of yellow anywhere, except where the morning sun got in through the high windows. 

"I should find him," said Thrawn, sounding a little bit guilty. Eli sighed. 

"Yeah, okay. But be quick." He rolled off the bed and got onto his feet, wobbling a little. "Or else you'll miss me." 

Winking at him, Eli walked into the 'fresher, leaving the door slightly ajar and turning on the water spray of the shower as loud as it would go. 

Thrawn shook his head, getting to his own feet. 

Yes, he was definitely going to comply with Eli's requests. 

  
  



End file.
